It is blurry in here.
I was just curious....." what was the saddest moment of your life?" He hesitated to answer me. Was it too personal? May be. He cleared his voice. He was staring at the road instead of me. " I was 12 years old and it had been almost 8 years since my mom died. I used to dream about her every single night. She smiling, she getting mad, talking to the neighbors, kissing my cheeks tenderly.........there was a different dream every night. I liked it. I used to spend my fair share with my mom. How I loved sleeping back then. As a kid who lost his parents I wasn't that much lonely cause my mom would come for me every single night." I really wondered how this story is going to turn out.
"Even though my mom's presence accompanied me every night, the images of her were getting blurry day by day. I could see some of her features and listen to her voice but as the days kept counting the clarity started being questionable." I started reading his pain all over his face. That was one of the most candid and raw emotion I have ever seen.
"I remember the day, it was one Wednesday. As I told you I was 12 and when I woke up that day, I couldn't see her face. Everything was blank except her voice. I was shocked and couldn't believe that was actually happening. I took my time to search for her features in my every partitions of my brain, but nothing. Her face was no where to be found. I couldn't remember my mom after that day." His hands were shaking but he was trying to hide them under the table.
"I lost my mom forever. Not a single smile of hers was in my memory. Everything was void. I cried until there was no tears left in my eyes. The angelic look of my mom was never with me. I remember the guy who run after me when I touched his pen, I remember the pretty girl who used to pass by our house to go to school, but not my mom. I felt guilty. I hated myself. I was disappointed. How could I erase her images? How lazy and careless could I be? How could I not hold the only precious and beautiful memory of my life appropriately? I was never lonely until that day. And my life was never the same again."
I wasn't expecting to hear such kind of story. I took a moment of silence to imagine how I would feel if the best incidents, pictures and memories of my life get deleted. It would be dreadful. I couldn't even imagine how I would act if I forget the face of my loved one's. But I saw right there how anything could be volatile. One day it was there, the next time it wasn't.
I am still curious. What was the saddest moment of your life?