Lost in life

It is scary to be honest for a moment and admit that I am pretty clueless on what the future holds. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there is nothing I can do to control what is going to happen. I can't control what people are going to say or what people would do. When I was thinking about this I realized that whether we like it or not, this is a position we are all in at all times. Feeling lost or confused on what is to come or where to go is something that just hits me and it can be overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s unclear what the right thing to do is that’s If there is a right thing to do. I want to do the right thing but I’m not sure if I always have a clear idea of what that looks like or what that means. In a way I kind of wonder what do I stand for? And sometimes I can see how fear can change my decisions and make me act in strange ways and feel more vulnerable. Sometimes what was working before stops working now and I feel like I’m starting from zero all over again. May be that is what it means to grow up.

Nobody wants to say it but I will. I do still fear what other people will say about me. I want to be loved and it’s easy to say I don’t care, it doesn’t affect me but it does I do care. I think we all care. I think we’re social creatures and this is built into us. I don’t think any of us want to be alone but you can feel like that sometimes. I’m just trying to remind myself that it’s okay to not be okay all the time. We are all complex. I am not sure even a full lifetime is enough time to figure out everything about ourselves.

These are some of my thoughts on feeling a little confused or lost in life. I feel like we don’t treat these things as if they are normal which I believe they are if you are an independent person that is looking for answers. In a way I hope this can help you dispel the idea that people out there have everything figured out. They do not. Nobody does.