Good bye

I’ve come to an understanding that I was never in love with you. I was in love with the idea of you, in love with the person I perceived you were. I do not know you and I may not even like the person you are. I was in love with the person you allowed me to believe you were. I was in love with an imaginary being, a character that has yet to exist.

I fell in love because of my lack of knowledge, experience of how to reciprocate the kind of attention you gave me. I did not know how to compliment, flirt and at the same time be just a friend or a no one. I reciprocated with the only way I knew. By loving you. That is the reason I fell in love. Not because you were attentive or affectionate God knows you are not! Most of the time you ignore me yet I seem to beg for your attention time and time again. Nor was it because I knew you personally no! I don’t know anything about you besides the given.

I read your texts as if they were love letters, as if they are the last piece of you that I have, and they actually are your last piece. I used to lay awake at night, hoping in my silly mind, that you’d somehow remember and text me. Is it not funny that I waited till the day ended to see if you’d wish me a happy birthday and you didn’t, it would have meant a lot for me too you know. But that’s you, you always seem to have a way of disappointing me.

You made me believe I was the universe

While I was not even a star

You made me believe I was special

Yet, you act the same with everyone

You made me believe you cared

Yet, you forget my simple request

So yes I don’t love you.

I choose myself now, I choose my sanity

I need to put you behind

You need to leave my mind.

This is a goodbye!