9 years in 8 days
which way is up?
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep.Slowly, then all at once"
My sweetest child tells me the stories of all her dolls and drawings. The funny looking stick man with a straw for a tie is the dad "Bobby" she calls him. he goes to work to fend for funky haired stick woman "wife" and their little baby mermaid. they live in a house filled with pink flowers and purple hearts, they life contained by the corners of the A4 paper.
Humans are silly little things, don't you think? what must god feel watching us live our lives pretending that we have all the control over all that's in this world and beyond when in reality, our lives are just as contained to fit into whats for us and within our reach.
Our plans are silly little made up stories in the face of what's meant to be. God will keep knocking down all the little plans that we have for ourselves and keep doing his thing.
First we all want to be Drivers, because of course cars are cool.
Then we start noticing airplanes then we want to become pilots
Then doctors
Then police men
As we grow older, we keep trying to shape our lives and think about what we would like to be and what we think we should be. The older we get, the image of the future that we'd like changes so often and reaches a point of frailty where we have no option but to let go.
We let down who we have to let down and release our hold, that's when life fall into place.
A fraction of a second can change a story. That's what happened to me.
9 years ended in 8 days, 8 days ended in 7 hours and in a blink, two months have passed.
Don't get it? that's okay. Some will.
My life is not in my hands. I spent years building a future trying to sculpture every detail to my liking. that got knocked to the floor. with the panic of helplessness, i succeeded in knocking a few more things down; and a few more after. It was almost comical how powerless I felt over my own fate.
When god ties your hands and tells you to sit still, you listen. You witness your god building you up from the ashes of all your unanswered prayers.
I didn't get the things i begged for, instead, before I could comprehend it, I was put in a strange place filled with everything I needed.
He built me up the same way he broke me. slowly, then all at once.
Pacencia ye fe.
