Nice guys finish last, but nice girls don't even finish.
Yes! I said it!
Kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Kill 'em, kill 'em.
I twiddled like an unaware white girl to this song, an earworm, a recent enough relic that has stuck with me. Though as time goes by, the "kill 'em" part is becoming more prevalent. It's getting louder with every bus fare I take.
It's like Mrs. Gomez, on her last kidney, was trying to convince us all that this "unfounded positivity" is the key to happiness. But the irony is thick as molasses. It's about power, about getting one over on someone, cloaked in this sugarcoated language of goodness. And it made me think about the whole "nice girl" thing.
Is it a choice, or something we're just trained to be? Because, honestly, sometimes that "pleasant aggression" feels like a mask we wear more than anything else.
The nice girl syndrome. The one that leaves you cradling your own tuchus. (Pause.) Ewww, that almost made me tear up. It's the saddest visual I have ever painted. And knowing my artistic credentials, that says a lot. So kindly throw away your tainted canvas, please! Have some manners. This is about niceness. At some point, we might talk about Jesus and God, and perhaps add Justin Bieber in for good measure.
Once again, the nice girl syndrome has been passed down to us since... well, who knows? Since the dawn of time, perhaps. Eve, bless her heart, probably gave in to the apple because she didn't want to hurt the snake's feelings. Empath? Check. Cancer moon rising? Maybe. So, let's not focus on her mistakes. Here, we support women's rights and wrongs. And I don't want to leave out my fellow nonbelievers either. So, Homo habilis, right? Get it? I don't know, that's it, that's all I have on that.
The gig is, if you're kind or just a nice individual, you don't need incentives to be so. You don't need to be nagged from the age of four to care about the dead, the poor, or women over 50. For some people, that's just who they are. It's second nature.
But then there's us, the womenfolk. This whole nice girl trope is like a costume we are forced to wear. It's expected from every woman to embrace it like a second skin. The slight bow you make as a force of nature due to your developed tentacles has given society its pass to expect kind services from you like it's a cosmic obligation.
"Smile, sweety," echoes through the air as you're walking down the street. And ladies, I’ve got a special finger reserved for such occasions. A little birdie told me you’ve got one too! You get a finger, you get a finger, we all get a finger! Teehee!
Don't get me wrong, I am all for kindness, world peace, or whatever other prayers you fancy. But the problem is, women are expected to be the only nice species on the planet. Common decency should be a two-way street. I can't wish you a good day just to get a spit on the face in return. Now it's a fest. We both are going to have blisters, buddy. I am not saying the whole male species is rude or unkind, but let's just say I haven't seen a whole lot of chivalry in action. And when push comes to shovel, the only way women are supposed to express themselves is passively because, hey, whatever aggression is needed for a situation, it's not the lady's way to go.
The other issue: They tell us being nice is the key to success, to finding a partner. It's our only weapon. But honey, being nice isn't a magic ticket to paradise. It's not like we are going to waltz through the pearly gates just because we say "please" and "thank you" a lot. If you're just nice and nothing else, if the only thing that sets you apart is your willingness to hold the door for everyone, you are just another apple-eating, uterus-equipped member of the nice girls club. And let's be real, those membership dues are high. That club ain't exclusive either. It's so crowded you'll be getting rejection letters and drowning in ghosting galore.
So what was it that the incels say? Uh-uh, no more Misses Nice Girl. Or, a better rhetoric: Be nice, but also be something else as well. Try to spit back sometimes.
Dare I say, bars!
