Let me go home.
I was sitting at the side of the road just looking at the people passing by. And there was that feeling that kept nagging me, "Go home". And I thought I needed to go to my house and feel calm. But nope, that wasn't it. I figured the feeling of home was never related to my house.
So I came up with some other solution. 'Home is the people I love. They will make this unsettling noise quite.' And I believed it was the best thing I have ever thought. Yet as days pass by, I knew people weren't actually home. I learned that you could never seek refugee in others heart forever. Just like everything in the world, people are also dynamic creatures that keep changing and moving. But 'my home' wasn't in that dynamic and fast movement of life. I wanted that calm, comfortable, and quite place. After some time I found myself lonely while surrounded by many people. And again that longing feeling of home surfaced back.
Maybe I am not feeling comfortable with myself that is why I am in constant search of that tranquility, I thought at some point. But as much as I was trying to accept who I actually am, I saw that blank spot that needed to be filled.
My friend once said "In a world full of everything, there is always that empty space in our heart that could never be filled with anything." She told me to live with it peacefully. She added "Not everything has to be whole. Voidness has its own whistles if you really listen to it."
But I wondered, I have never sought that much in this world. Still was it too much to ask for my home? Am I demanding a lot by missing and wanting to go to my 'home'?