A letter to God
"I call on you, my God, for you will answer me..."
Dear God,
How are you? i hope all is well with you. it has been a while since i talked to you. i know things have been rough between us. But i do miss talking to you.
I believe i am once again skeptical of you and my deteriorating faith could use an uplifting. Remember back in high school when I was on the verge of saying there is no God when things were rough, those were dark times indeed. It was a journey of knowing myself and you
myself through you
myself because of you....
I thought nothing would shake my faith after that but here i am once again asking for reassurance. Dear God are you there?
i am often ungrateful and full of hate. i need a miracle God. This world is turning me in to something i hate.
This is not a question whether i doubt you exist or not. i know you are there and i know that i have found you. For you are present in my mother's smile, in the embrace of my loved ones, in my unshed tears, in the tough times i passed, in the little joy i hold dear to my heart, in the dark place i got out of, i have your presence in the love i feel and the hate i carry.
But now i have grown weak, i have burned out. i no longer am the girl who prayed. i stopped praying a long time ago. When i get on my knees it's not to pray( No shit Madonna, okay okay bad joke bad time.)
Instead i write letters like these to stay in touch.
Dear Lord, Give me the strength i once had to pass the obstacles that come my way. Help me find my way back to you. Restore my faith in you. Our holy father i am in need of guidance for i feel so lost. i feel like a lost cause. My mind is restless and my heart is wild.
Everything i want or desire leads me astray, pushing me further from you.
Fill my heart with kindness and love. Let me see the world through the lens of the hopeful. Let me love living.
Let me live to honour you. To live righteously and to die with dignity. To live with out prejudice. To live in peace and understanding.
Lord grant me the strength to live like this. My glass of faith is half empty. Give me the strength to believe it's half full.
