I meant well I promise


I don’t really like writing or reading summaries. It destroys the fun. But it’s a story about connections , love and betrayal. If you see deep mental health but I hope you enjoy it

" why are you alone?’ That has to be the stupidest question I heard in my whole life. I think it’s obvious why I am alone, am sure it isn’t because I have so many friends but because I have no one to be with. The person who asked me the question is still waiting for my answer I realize. With no motivation to answer I stayed silent , continuing to read the book that I have in my hands. ‘ friends don’t want you or you don’t want them?’ The person continued asking. I looked up noticing it’s the face I have never seen in the town , with  town like mine it’s so hard not to know everyone’s life and faces. 

 Must be new then it’s not going to be far until him and his whole life is discovered. I don’t care though , trying not to pry into people’s lid is my thing but key word ….try. ‘ do you do that to everyone? Analyze their faces I mean?’ He still asks even though I don’t answer . He’s not supposed to talk to me , why is he talking to me? Originally the kids tell all the new kids not to talk to me . Perhaps they did not tell him I guess. 

 He sat down on the empty beach beside me , without asking….. he’s asking too many questions but somehow forgot to ask this important one. Figures.

‘ am new , I just saw you alone and I wanted to keep you company.’  He sounds cheerful I don’t even look at him. ‘ am Ean …heard yours is lany’  am a nice person I am but i tend to be cold if people come to first pushing my boundary and that feeling …the feeling of being mean and cold to people exhausts me. I hate it . 

‘ look Ean …um … am kind of reading here so if you don’t mind .’ I said faking a little smile ‘ I love reading too , what you reading ? ‘  I rolled my eyes and showed him the cover of the book I was reading . ‘ A thousand splendid suns? Now that’s a good book.’ He retorted, I shrugged nonchalantly.  He sighed sensing my mood and stated ‘ look am sorry if am being to forward ,but am new here and i have no friends , my parents passed away a year ago and I moved here alone to finish my senior year.’ And that’s how I found the perfect target. Alone, over-sharer and trusts easily.

Well since I found what I wanted it didn’t take me long enough to warm up to him and this time I messed up big time……. I mean it’s not a big deal but he’s a nice guy and I kinda like him . That’s gonna make the departing process not so easy. Come on am the reason this town no longer has new coming population am going to take care of this too. Am going to make the departing process so easy. 

 Of course he’s so handsome and tells me am pretty and all , I don’t believe him but for some people who met few months ago we sure don’t like it and am cool with us being close. What do I like about him? The way he makes me feel …….his smile when he sees me at school, in the hallways, in class, on the benches where he first approached me, at the gate, his laugh when we’re talking and I say something funny, how he jokingly tells me I look ethereal most of the time, how he only calls me by my nick name , how my name rolls  out of his tongue ……. God,  I sound so in love…..maybe I am , who cares , wait…… I do.

   Maybe , maybe he’s worth it leaving him or not making him my target  will be worth it …… after all I don’t have to kill him. We can live together and I know I won’t regret it . God I love him …….. the love I have for him made me a new person? Yeah I can say that I ….. don’t have it in me any more ……. I love being in love with him . He doesn’t even know it yet….probably but the gaze in his eyes tell me otherwise they say ‘I know you love me baby and I too’ .

 He asked me to meet him on the benches today  , I like those benches by the way obviously because it’s the place that I met him. And I know he is going to confess today why else would he ask me to our spot under the beautiful night sky where we could gaze at the stars and talk about our future? Am sure it’s not to be like ….. ‘ I hate people and I was a murderer ……emphasize on the was…but yeah the love I have for you changed me.’ Like am going to do….. I feel like I have to come clean. I have to … maybe for the peace of mind. Am sure he’s not gonna freak out and leave right? Because we’re emphasizing on the was? Yeah everything is going to go well.

‘ you are so beautiful, you know that right lay?’ He says caressing my hair ‘ and your hair is just like the sky tonight’ I smile like a fool , I would have been super rich if one could get reach because of the amount of compliments they get , this guy I swear. He’s going to be the death of me. 

‘ Lay I want you….’ He starts but I stop him ‘ look Ean I need to tell you something….. it’s not weird or anything but like…’ he touched my face to stop me from rambling. ‘ hug me ‘ he commanded , did I say I love his hugs? He hugs so well honestly… I feel safe in his arms . I nodded and hugged him that’s when I felt the sharp pains on my back followed by his hand jabbing movements. It’s so painful I shockingly let go and look him in the face ‘ you’re so pretty ‘ he says with splatters of my blood on his face . Huh talk about being stabbed in the back. Literally. 

Anyways that’s how I was killed by the person who was supposed to be killed by me and I fell in love then he took his chance.

And just like I said he was the death of me.

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